Craig Carmoney’s BLOG

In a satirical twist reminiscent of the recent Signal app mishap involving top officials, former President Donald Trump found himself embroiled in an underwater controversy. Attempting to share his “tremendous” burger recipe with a select group of confidants, Trump inadvertently added Plankton, the notorious schemer from Bikini Bottom, to the group text.

The message detailed a burger recipe strikingly similar to the coveted Krabby Patty formula: “Two all-beef patties, special sauce (can’t disclose, it’s a secret), lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.” Plankton, upon receiving the text, couldn’t believe his luck. Years of elaborate plots and failures to steal the recipe seemed to culminate in this accidental windfall.

Elated, Plankton immediately set out to recreate the burger at the Chum Bucket. However, his excitement was short-lived. Despite following the recipe to the letter, the result was a pale imitation of the original Krabby Patty. Customers remained loyal to the Krusty Krab, and Plankton’s dream of outshining Mr. Krabs was dashed once again.

Back on land, news of the blunder spread rapidly. Social media buzzed with hashtags like #KrabbyGate and #PattyLeaks. Late-night hosts had a field day, joking that even in retirement, Trump was “making fast food great again.”

In response to the incident, Trump took to his own platform, stating, “Fake news! I did not share any secret recipe. But if I did, it would be the best, better than anyone else’s!”

Meanwhile, Mr. Krabs capitalized on the free publicity, launching a “Trump Burger” special at the Krusty Krab, complete with “extra confidential sauce.” SpongeBob was overheard saying, “I’m ready, I’m ready… to serve the best burgers in Bikini Bottom!”

As for Plankton, he was last seen plotting his next scheme, muttering about “fake recipes” and “deep-sea conspiracies.” It seems that some secrets, especially those as delicious as the Krabby Patty formula, are destined to remain under wraps.